he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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