In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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