I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
