Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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