just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
