I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
