Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
