it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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