Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
