yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
