How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
