Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Found the puke drawer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
