ya dads aren't the best wingmen
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Panties = found
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
