And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
