dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im calling her cock vulture from now on
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
