Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
