i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
