I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize