You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
