im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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