i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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