I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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