we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
