You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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