He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
