Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
