i already hear my dad disowning me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
