thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
