I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
