I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
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Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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