hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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