? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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