I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
