wanna go halves on a baby?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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