don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
