Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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