He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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