Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
