piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize