It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
you had me at cake vodka
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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