I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
