I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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