I don't think brook has ever known best
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
