Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
