Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is Oprah even human
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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