why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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