Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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