But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
