Need sex. Gaining weight.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
