i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Farmville is her only friend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
