They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize