I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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