I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
