Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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