so explain again why im purple
no
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
