Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
