Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
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