But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
