He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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