I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
