Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
