covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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