Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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