i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
