I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
