for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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