i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
